Wednesday, 15 May 2013

If I Ran Television (2)

Vicious: series one, programme six. 

Ian McKellen, Derek Jacobi and Sir Frances De La Tour sit on an ornate sofa. They each hold this episode's script.

De La Tour: I'm going to ACT the fuck out of this.

Jacobi: I'm going to act the fuck out of THIS. 

McKellen: I'M going to ACT the FUCK out of THIS!

The audience applauds wildly. 

Iwan Rheon enters, clutching a heavy claw hammer. In a frenzy, he uses it to smash in the heads of the three main actors. 

He opens a bottle of Nembutal, swallows them all, and lays down in front of the corpses. 

"If you read their diary, all will be explained", he murmurs. "PS Especially the latter part." 

He dies. 

1 comment:

  1. Dr Who series finale part one:

    Clara: "Who am I?"
    Dr: "No, who am I?"
    Clara: "You're the Doctor"
    Dr: "Who?"
    Clara: "Yes. Now, who am I?"
    Dr: "Sod this, let's go down the pub"